Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am puke
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
