You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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