Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
