I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
