i jhust puked up my retainher.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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