NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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