Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
