was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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