ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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