you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
