Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
