It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
