Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
