don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
