why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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