I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
