im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
