Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
