And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
