After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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