Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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