This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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