i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
