I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
