with your own penis?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
