that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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