yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
