you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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