I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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