i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
