dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
