I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
