In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
