dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
