I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
