Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
