She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
