Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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