Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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