worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
