whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
