just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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