I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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