Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
