You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
