We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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