shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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