Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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