i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
