My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
