Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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